I finally threw out the bra that I got almost two years ago.

February 5, 2014

It's a smaller size than the ones that I bought after I moved to the apartment that I have.

I threw it out because it had created the wounds on my back that the people who created the new Drew Barrymore/Adam Sandler movie saw in the video that Hollywood gets through the illegal cameras in my bathroom, if they were watching that SICK, SADISTIC, ILLEGAL video over the last few days.

The reason that they have a scene in their new movie that shows a girl padding her bra is that they and everyone else who watches the SICK, SADISTIC, ILLEGAL video that's being created through those illegal cameras make fun of the fact that manufacturers of bras don't seem to produce bras without padding anymore.  I have bought the bras at K-Mart that seemed like they weren't too small, and that have the least amount of padding that's available.  If they are slightly too big for me, there's not much that I can say about that except that, being impoverished, I can't spend the money to buy bras that are custom-designed for me; all the bras that I have at this time cost, each, much less than $20.00.

They have created that part of the movie because my breasts flatten out when I lie on my back without wearing a bra.  They have observed this with SICK, SADISTIC, ILLEGAL video filmed through the illegal cameras in my apartment.  I have never taken my clothes off with the lights on while I have lived in this apartment; they have watched me at night, lying in bed in a t-shirt and pajama pants.

I don't even know how many times I have already written and talked about the 30-50 pounds that I always was overweight from most of my late teens to my early twenties, because of the psychiatric medications that I was pressured to take.  Being that much overweight would cause anyone's breasts to sag.  One of the medications that I took for 3 years, Risperdal, caused weight gain, acne, cessation of my periods, sleeping all the time, and for my breasts to fill with fluid.  I was overweight while my breasts were filled with fluid for 3 years.  I was also suicidal almost all the time.  By the time that I was in my mid-thirties, I had gotten over a lot of things, and hoped that I could start the life that I wanted.

Then the conglomerate formed in 2010, and has enjoyed mercilessly throwing its version of every bad thing from my past around the world and blaming and ridiculing me for all of it, and has added other horrific things to my life that I'll have to live with for as long as I live.

The scene with Ms. Barrymore slobbering is probably also a joke about video that was filmed by someone through the windows of my parents' house in 2010, when I hadn't yet started to be someone who keeps the curtains closed where I live all the time.  I was hungry and had a sandwich while I was watching television by myself.  I had forgotten my manners, which, it seems to me, isn't as bad a breach of etiquette, dare I say the law, as filming someone through the windows of where the person lives.

Instead of trying to excuse your crimes toward me by filming one movie and other project after another, for which you all get paid and laugh together at my expense, trying to pretend that I am the one at fault by implying that you are affectionately forgiving me for being pretentious and gauche, why don't you cease avoiding the reality of the situation?  The reality of the situation is that you have nothing to forgive me for; it is insulting for you to imply that there is anything at all for which you are the ones owed apologies from me.

I have said before that your stupid, self-serving, self-congratulatory, selfish, illiterate, narcissistic, endlessly self-excusing opinions of me have no value to me at all.  They don't; you are, though, criminals, and vicious, harmful gossips with a big audience.

Also; if Ms. Barrymore has hacked my phone and other electronic devices and accounts, I would appreciate it if she stopped invading my privacy.  I haven't noticed things being sent to my phone that have caused me to think that Mr. Sandler has invaded my privacy that way, though knowing Hollywood the way I do after almost 4 years of its sickening abuse of me, I wouldn't be surprised.

Almost a decade after the first thing I wrote that got me attention from that part of the world, that part of the world has never stopped living off my life and acting like it's a privilege for me to be so abused, while I am forced to live a life that I couldn't have thought of if I obsessed for a lifetime about a life to inflict on someone I hated too much to kill.


Copyright L. Kochman, February 5, 2014 @ 3:35 a.m.