I shouldn't feel suicidal after going to counseling.

November 3, 2014

When I was in the hospital, I asked the social worker to help me find a cognitive-behavioral therapist who specializes in sexual trauma.  The social worker scheduled an appointment for me.

I don't think the therapist specializes in sexual trauma.  Also, she coughed throughout the session last week and this week.  She said she has a cold; however, I don't think that's the reason that she coughed when she opened the door to the waiting room today, and I don't think that's the reason that someone was coughing outside the door of the room in which the session was happening, and I don't think that's the reason that the therapist coughed in the hallway when the session was over.

I don't know what the reason is that I get treated the way that I do.  I have never understood it, except that it's an example of people being horrible for no reason and with no concern about the effects of their behavior.

I don't owe anyone hysterical crying to prove that I hate what is happening to me.  What's happening to me is not my fault, and my knowledge that it's not my fault doesn't make what has happened to me my fault.  My strength is not a sign of guilt, but it's also not endless.  Everyone has a limit of what he or she can take, and there is no excuse for someone who is supposed to be a mental health professional to deliberately add to a client's emotional distress, or for anyone in a mental health office to harass anyone's client.

Copyright L. Kochman, November 3, 2014 @ 2:34 p.m.