Paulina

November 9, 2014

I don't want you to feel bad that I never tried to interact with you the way that I have with other younger people who have been part of my life directly or tangientially because of my interaction with the entertainment industry.  Know also that I have not done a search of your name online tonight or in past weeks, and I have no idea what you're doing.

I think that you probably have more positive supports and influences in your life than most celebrities do.  I know that a lot of schools have the turmoil that the conglomerate has forced upon society, and that might be confusing for you.  However, I think that your choice of study and profession will bring smart and educated people into your life on a regular basis, and also require that you reason your way through your scholastic and professional life; all of that will make you smarter and stronger every year.  It's the opposite process that is demanded of most models and actresses; they are forced to abandon reason to get work and betray their judgment and dignity to be able to get through a working day, every day.  That's why they lose their looks earlier than other professional women, too, unless they make a lot of money and don't have the stresses of worrying about that.  Smart, beautiful women are more beautiful for years than the beautiful women who are stupid or who agree to act stupid for so long that they forget how to be smart.

I didn't think you needed me to tell you anything, and I did not want to be a pressuring rival.  Also, you have more formal education than I do already, for a number of important things.  I figured I could keep my mouth shut, for once, except for when I felt that I was being unfairly abused in contrast to you.

I don't think that your older boyfriend should have started dating you when you were 19.  You were too young; I understand that many adolescent women and women in their early twenties feel like they can handle whatever relationships they choose to have.  You know other women your age; do you think that belief of invincibility is justified more often than not?  What college has ever not been littered with the broken hearts of young women who had no idea what was going to happen to them when they went running out the door to meet the men they thought they could deal with?

If I'm envious of you, it's because you can probably hear the sentence "You have your whole life ahead of you" without feeling sick with fear or overwhelmed by sadness.  The last time I felt that optimistic about my future, I was 16.

Copyright L. Kochman, November 9, 2014 @ 11:22 p.m./addition @ 11:31 p.m.