One of the women who has been harassing me all night brought me to another room, and made the vomit "Huh" sound that many harassers like to make, after she had brought me to this room.
That's a picture of the mouse pad for the computer in this room.
I went to the restroom; she or the other woman (male coughing now) coughed outside the restroom door. They were both standing outside the restroom when I left it. The one who had brought me to this room put her arm over her face and started a series of coughs that I interrupted by saying "You have pages at my blog." She looked startled, which she was; I'm sure that she and everyone else who has bullied me all night had gotten cozy with their activities and did not think that anything would happen because of their behavior.
At least I have documented what they've done. Somebody might listen, someday.
Copyright the entire page, L. Kochman, November 19, 2014 @ 2:41 a.m.
Copyright the entire page, L. Kochman, November 18, 2014 @ 11:37 p.m.
@ 11:38 p.m.
@ 11:44 p.m.
@ 11:49 p.m.
@ 11:51 p.m.
Why do people hate me so much?
Persistent, female coughing @ 11:52 p.m.
@ 11:54 p.m., by someone who was outside my room. Maybe they've made a game of it, coughing whenever they're near my room, to amuse each other
Male grunting @ 11:57 p.m.
Female coughing @ 11:59 p.m.
One of the male security guards seems to be spending a lot of time outside my room, which has a glass wall. Another security guard jumped out in front of the wall when I first got to the Emergency Room and then ran back to the other part of the hall. I think they want to know what I look like, and what I'm doing, famous me, with no privacy ever.
Female coughing while I wrote that paragraph, and this sentence @ 12:04 a.m.
People really hate me. They believe whatever it is that they've heard.
@ 12:06 a.m.
Persistent, female coughing @ 12:07 a.m.
@ 12:08 a.m.
@ 12:10 a.m.
@ 12:13 a.m.
@ 12:16 a.m. when someone passed by my room
They think I deserve it. Few people would treat someone like this whom they didn't think deserved it.
Hours of abuse. At least I'm not surprised.
Very loud coughing @ 12:20 a.m. Maybe they're frustrated that I seem to be ignoring their behavior. Do they want me to run out of my room, screaming, so they can lie to me and laugh in my face?
If they only knew that the opinion of evil and/or ignorant people means nothing to me, and that my anger is the result of not being able to stop the abuse and not because I care what they think.
@ 12:23 a.m.
So far, no Emergency Room has been without staff who think they have time to spend hours harassing me.
Female coughing when she walked past my room, and again a second later, and she's still coughing @ 12:25 a.m. She just walked into my room and asked me if I needed anything. I told her that I didn't, and she walked out of my room with her elbow over her face, coughing. I guess she has wanted my attention and she finally got desperate enough for that attention that she walked right into my room and pretended to care if I needed something. I don't know if she'll ever read this blog or not; she might never know how much of my attention she has gotten.
@ 12:30 a.m.
@ 12:32 a.m.
@ 12:32 a.m.
People don't want to think about what a horrible place the world would be if what is happening to me could happen to someone who doesn't deserve it. So, they believe that I deserve it, and they don't want to know that I don't.
How else could people emotionally torment someone, for hours, in an Emergency Room or psychiatric facility? What would it mean about what kind of people they are, if they did that to someone who didn't deserve it?
@ 12:49 a.m.
@ 12:55 a.m. It's my nurse, coughing loudly before she walked into my room.
@ 12:56 a.m.
I haven't said anything to anyone about it. I haven't confronted anyone about the hours of abuse that I have now been through at this Emergency Room. I haven't raised my voice to anyone. I have also done nothing at all that would confirm to even the most unreasonable person that I deserve the abuse, and yet the abuse continues, and they're smiling while they do it.
@ 1:02 a.m.
The nurse doesn't seem to think she should walk into or out of or past my room without coughing loudly. She smiles when she's talking to me, and has yet to say a rude word to me, but she obviously hates me as much as any stranger who harasses me every day. @ 1:57 a.m.
@ 2:00 a.m.
@ 2:05 a.m.
@ 2:07 a.m.
Louder @ 2:08 a.m.
@ 2:16 a.m.
@ 2:16 a.m.
@ 2:17 a.m, louder. This nurse HATES me, and I have never met her before in my life.
I'm at another Emergency Room for another psychological evaluation. One of three male security guards cleared his throat while I was walking past him. As soon as I got to the room where I'll wait to be evaluated, there was more loud, male coughing from the hallway that had the three guards standing around when I was brought to this room.
This has all happened in the past few minutes. I don't know how many hours I'll be here, getting harassed.
More coughing happened while I was writing the copyright notice.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 18, 2014 @ 9:31 p.m.
More coughing @ 9:32, by a male.
More coughing @ 9:32, by a female.
More coughing @ 9:42, by a male
More coughing @ 9:43, male and then female
I was just told that the officers are because of a patient who is in police custody (not me). If the security people are supposed to be creating security around another patient, why do any of them think they have time to harass me? Why does anyone in an Emergency Room think that he or she has time to harass anyone?
There were several coughs, mostly male and one female, while I wrote that paragraph.
@ 10:04 p.m.
Copyright the entire page, L. Kochman, November 18, 2014 @ 10:05 p.m.
Female coughing @ 10:12 p.m.
More female coughing @ 10:12 p.m. and 10:13 p.m.
Female coughing @ 10:14 p.m.
Forceful, male coughing @ 10:16 p.m.
Androgynous coughing @ 10:17 p.m.
It's incredible how viciously and joyously people vent spleen when they are given license and encouragement to do it.
Male coughing @ 10:24 p.m.
Loud, male, vomit-coughing @ 10:28 p.m.
Loud, female coughing @ 10:31 p.m.
Coughing @ 10:33 p.m.
Coughing @ 10:34 p.m.
Coughing @ 10:42 p.m.
Coughing @ 10:43 p.m.
Coughing @ 11:10 p.m.
Persistent, female coughing outside my room, for several minutes @ 11:17 p.m.
I want to be sure that you don't misunderstand the last thing that I published about you at this blog.
People, unlike most written characters, don't just feel, think and do one thing at a time. The real characters of human beings are subject to ambivalence and change. Some people change a lot over time; some people never change at all.
It wasn't destiny that made me loathe you; it was your behavior.
I don't create the addresses for the videos that I publish at YouTube; YouTube does.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 18, 2014 @ 10:06 a.m.
She just coughed again, then walked out of her office past me.
Another woman in the hallway near that office just coughed, also.
There's no question that the woman who has the far office is trying to make me freak out.
This is mental health?
Copyright L. Kochman, November 18, 2014 @ 10:10 a.m.
The woman's name is Donna. She just walked past me again, went into her office, and coughed again.
She is trying to start a fight with me; even the way she walked back and forth in front of me showed that. She's a bully, and she's using her employment at the Department of Mental Health to protect herself while she picks on the clients.
Nobody should think that it doesn't happen all the time that people who work in mental health care emotionally abuse clients because they think it's fun to watch the clients freak out. Then, everything gets blamed on the client; the abusive worker says to anyone who sees the client getting upset "He/she got upset for no reason," and the client gets threatened or more than threatened with medication and/or physical restraints. It happens all the time.
She just coughed again. This woman is desperate to get me to show my anger; it's the most exciting opportunity to abuse someone that she's had all day.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 18, 2014 @ 10:20 a.m.
She just coughed again.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 18, 2014 @ 10:34 a.m.
She just walked out of her office and past me through the hallway, stopped to speak to someone in another office, then walked to the end of the hallway and coughed loudly again just before she left this part of the building.
If she treats me this way, how do you think she treats people who have no power at all? Obviously, nobody from the Department of Mental Health has ever reprimanded her for abuse of clients; I told her several coughs ago "You're going to be on the Internet in literally a few seconds, so why don't you knock it off?"
Copyright L. Kochman, November 18, 2014 @ 10:43 a.m./edited @ 10:47 a.m.
Bigotry, being blind and unreasonable, is something that can exist within the same person who knows how to be reasonable and intelligent about other things.
These are pictures of the Yahoo search result for the White House official website, and of the "Photo of the Day" from the first page of that website.
"Your Brother's Keeper," unless he's gay or bisexual, right? Also, there's no question that the President couldn't care less about women's rights and that he doesn't consider women to be equal human beings to heterosexual men.
These are pictures from the "My Brother's Keeper" section of the website:
I have never stopped screaming "NO" about the SICK, SADISTIC, ILLEGAL videotaping of me. There doesn't seem to be anything that I can do to make that videotaping of me and other people around me to stop.
This is a picture of the first page of the section of the website that is called "Violence Prevention":
President Obama doesn't seem to think that voyeurism and other types of sexual assault are violence; he endorses them.
Copyright, with noted exceptions, L. Kochman, November 18, 2014 @ 6:47 a.m./edited @ 6:49 a.m.
I left the crisis stabilization unit and was stalked by cars and trucks all the way to the shelter. Several homeless people at the shelter began harassing me as soon as I got here.
I think that there are a lot of people who are part of the conglomerate, or who support the conglomerate, who would like to see me be killed or kill myself. I think that they would think of my death as a lot of points on the conglomerate scoreboard.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 17, 2014 @ 2:41 p.m.
I spent the first half of 2011 in Vermont. When I was at the homeless shelter in Vermont where I was first illegally videotaped with hidden cameras, as were all the other homeless guests at that shelter, I published several pages online that mentioned a Vermont journalist named Chris Martin. He wrote horrible articles for the newspaper that employed him, and he was obviously going to molest children as soon as he thought he could do that without being arrested.
The conglomerate took the name "Chris Martin" from what I wrote AGAINST child molestation and the conglomerate has used that name to promote child molestation for more than 3 years.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 17, 2014 @ 2:26 p.m.
I was never before at the crisis stabilization unit where I spent the last few days. It was mostly quiet. A few of the staff and patients harassed me, and I was stalked by janitors more than once. Overall, though, it was not as bad as other facilities have been in terms of my being directly abused by other people in person.
There are concerns, however. The water in the showers is tepid, which means that taking a shower means being cold. When the maintenance man was called, he said that the water temperature was "within guidelines."
A visiting nurse practitioner said "We're tenants in this building. I can't do anything about the plumbing."
There was also cold air pouring into the patients' rooms through the vents.
I think that what has happened is that the landlord doesn't want to pay for heat and hot water. I also think that the landlord knows that mental patients who object to how they are treated have almost no chance of that treatment improving, and that staff who try to advocate for their patients have almost no chance of creating improvements, either.
All of the electrical outlets and switches in the building seem to have "LP2" or "RP2" written at the top of them, and "CKT" with a number after those letters at the bottom. Many of the "CKT"s had the number 41 written after them. The sockets and switches were labeled that way everywhere that I saw them in the building, including the bathrooms. I did not use a toilet, take a shower, or change my clothes once at that unit that I didn't turn off the lights first.
People's rights are being violated.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 17, 2014 @ 2:16 p.m.
I don't think there's a conglomerate media business in the world that doesn't have my phone hacked and that isn't using interpretations of what it finds on my phone to serve the conglomerate's evil agenda.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 14, 2014 @ 11:01 a.m.
I left the Massachusetts General Hospital Emergency Room last night, when I was told that they would help me get into a crisis stabilization unit but not a locked, hospital unit.
I went to the Brigham and Women's Emergency Room, where I was also told that they would help me get into a crisis stabilization unit, not a hospital.
While she was trying to get me to say things that would justify the decision not to help me be admitted to a hospital, a BEST (Boston Emergency Services Team) clinican asked me why I wanted to be in a hospital. I said that, unlike the way it would be in a crisis unit, I couldn't just run out of a hospital and kill myself. She said "But you've never run out of a crisis unit and killed yourself before."
They made me leave the Emergency Room this morning. They gave me an information sheet for the Arbour partial hospitalization program, a "Resource Guide to Emergency Services Programs" from 2013, and BEST's phone number.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 12, 2014 @ 9:27 a.m.
While I'm in the waiting room, waiting to talk to a psychiatrist, there's one attack on me and in human rights after another on television. "CBS Cares?" Cares about what, showing me naked to the world when I'm screaming "NO?!" Promoting the rape of children? That's what CBS calls caring?
Copyright L. Kochman, November 11, 2014 @ 10:30 p.m.
I just spoke with a nursing supervisor about how I was treated by the nurse. The supervisor acted like she cared about what I was saying, until the end of the conversation. She got up from where she was sitting next to me, and as soon as she turned to walk away, she coughed loudly.
It was loud enough for everyone in the waiting room to hear her. She was sending a signal to all employees that it's open season on me for harassment, as far as she's concerned.
This happened a few hours ago.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 11, 2014 @ 10:27 p.m.
The years I spent in school, studying. The years I spent working, always at or within a few dollars of minimum wage.
All of that was difficult, and is much more the truth about me than my sad, past love life that these jackals never stop picking over and reciting to try to justify their treatment of me.
I am persecuted by people who have and have always had easy lives. They think nothing of making my life harder; they don't know what a hard life is, they all think that they have a comprehensive list of sins that I committed for which I was never punished, and they always want to hear about more of those.
They don't know what fucking vermin they all are.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 11, 2014 @ 1:49 p.m.
That is a picture of part of the first page of the website for Arbour Health System.
Since moving to Boston in 2011, I have been a patient at the Arbour Fuller Hospital in South Attleboro, the Arbour Hospital in Jamaica Plain, and the Arbour in Brookline. I also was a patient at the women's partial hospitalization program at the Arbour in Brookline. Once, I was able to get through an entire week at the partial program, being harassed even by the female psychiatrist. The next time that I tried to do the partial, I left because I had to go to court for the final hearing about my apartment at Braintree Village, from which I was evicted. The third time that I tried to do the partial program was during this past summer. I was sickeningly harassed by several staff people, including the male manager of the program, before I walked out.
At every Arbour facility, I have had the same experience. There are patients and staff who harass me, and I am diagnosed as being delusional because I think that I'm being harassed. This past hospitalization was the most seriously dangerous one so far, with the medical director of the Brookline hospital petitioning the court to have me forced to take large quantities of antipsychotic medication. He did not succeed, because of the many hours that I spent while I was a patient at his hospital writing letters, making phone calls, speaking with people from my state-appointed attorney, the independent psychiatrist who evaluated me, other staff on the unit whether they were initially hostile to me or not, to the Department of Mental Health, to prevent him from forcing me to take medication that I don't need and that has serious side effects from weight gain up to 100 pounds to tardive dyskinesia.
At no time has the crushing pressure of the conglomerate's treatment of me been acknowledged by a doctor. I am always treated as if everything is my fault.
I don't know what medical staff are thinking when I'm at an Emergency Room and am asking to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital or a crisis stabilization unit. I don't know if they're thinking that I just don't like homeless shelters and that I want to stay somewhere cushier for a while. Psychiatric facilities are always nerve wracking for me. I know what they'll be like, and I always have to weigh what I know will happen when I get admitted against these criteria for being hospitalized:
Am I able to take care of myself?
Am I at imminent suicide risk?
Am I at risk of hitting someone?
When I asked to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital at the beginning of October, the answers to those questions were No, Yes and Yes.
I also know that when I leave a psychiatric facility, everything outside the facility will be the way it was before I was admitted to the facility. I'll be harassed. I'll be stalked. My life will be in danger from people who are waiting for the moment when they think they could rape and kill me and put the video of my being raped and killed online and be treated like heroes instead of being arrested. I'll be videotaped in toilet stalls and showers. I'll be homeless. The conglomerate will be promoting child molestation.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 11, 2014 @ 9:26 a.m./edited @ 9:30 a.m.
When I was at the Emergency Room at Boston Medical Center weeks ago, waiting to be interviewed by a psychiatric clinician, several Boston Medical Center staff people harassed me. The first was a young woman who seemed to be a medical assistant. She coughed at me several times. I told her to stop coughing at me. A janitor found things to do around me; I told him to leave me alone.
My objections to being abused culminated in someone named Dr. Amanti standing over me, telling me that everyone around me was just doing his or her job, that they couldn't help coughing, and that I had to stop being disruptive by objecting to their behavior. I think he would have continued to admonish me if I hadn't gotten his name from his name tag and told him that I was going to write about him online. He then retreated to the desk, where he laughed and asked a resident doctor "What's her diagnosis?" He did that, of course, to try to get a psychiatric diagnosis as an answer so that he could discredit me in front of everyone and continue to allow me to be psychologically abused in the Emergency Room.
Dr. Amanti left the room for a while. While he was gone, another male doctor who had already coughed at me several times stood about 10 feet away from me, coughing deafeningly during the entire time that the spouse or friend of a patient in the ER was trying to talk to him about that patient.
I finally said to that doctor "You are supposed to be listening to the person next to you who is trying to talk to you about your patient, not standing there coughing at me."
Soon after this, Dr. Amanti was standing over me again. He finally went away, but the abuse didn't stop.
The abuse never stops. Being treated with any courtesy at all anywhere is now something that makes a situation memorable for me.
There was another female patient in the ER that night whom staff were ridiculing also, right in front of her as if she were deaf or too stupid to understand what they were saying and how they were saying it. She got upset and left; they laughed about that, also.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 10, 2014 @ 5:12 p.m.
I was forced to leave it last year; I was told that I had an obsession with Wet Floor signs and coughing.
The transitional program means a permanent bed and not having to do the Emergency bed lottery any more. It also allows its guests to stay indoors during the day if they need to. You get a bureau next to your bed, with a lock, a shelf in the kitchen cabinet and a place for your own food. It is much less stressful than the Emergency beds and the lobby.
You're allowed to apply again to be in the transitional program after a while; you then have to prove that you have solved the problems that made you leave the program before.
How can I solve the problem of being bullied and lied about? I'm not the one with the problem; I am the target of the people who have the problem.
Months ago, I applied to the program again. I can see that the program is interviewing and accepting other applicants; their names are on letters that are on the bulletin board behind the front desk.
I'm sure that the director of the program isn't going to address one of those letters to me.
I am persecuted everywhere and all the time. I can't stop it, and the people who are doing it don't seem to want to stop it.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 10, 2014 @ 4:54 p.m.
A homeless woman decided to sit at the table where I was already sitting. She then proceeded to cough loudly every few minutes. After a few rounds of her coughing, I said "I won't put up with that."
She kept doing it. I told Maryse, a Pine Street Inn employee, what was happening. Maryse said "She can't help coughing." I said "I'm not getting into a discussion of what the coughing means; you don't have to do anything about her now. I'm just telling you that she's being a jerk."
Maryse then quite obviously turned her back on me in front of a room of homeless women, signaling to them that I am a target who won't be helped.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 10, 2014 @ 4:44 p.m.
I'll be incorrectly known forever as a willing porn participant.
Also, stalkers and harassers will know that documentation of their crimes toward me will be erased from the Internet, while people can create as many blogs as they like to torment me and destroy my reputation.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 10, 2014 @ 2:34 p.m.
I am not collecting unemployment benefits. I started the process of trying to find out if I was eligible for them, but the first person I talked to over the phone didn't seem to know what she was doing and kept asking me the same question over and over again, and the second person that I spoke to was so rude to me that I hung up the phone. He was miserable to me; everything he said was in a rude and condescending tone of voice and he interrupted every sentence I tried to speak. When he asked me why I was fired, I told him that I was sexually harassed and that my objections to being harassed were met with lies and then I was fired. He immediately said "What was the EMPLOYER'S reason for firing you," and basically told me that the government isn't interested in hearing what someone who was fired has to say about why the firing happened.
I AM PERSECUTED EVERYWHERE AND ALL THE TIME! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS!
Copyright L. Kochman, November 10, 2014 @ 12:14 p.m.