Word for word, this is almost exactly the amendment that I wrote about what happened on Thanksgiving and which I asked to be added to my hospital chart so that an accurate description of what happened would be in my chart next to the lies told about me by staff. I have left out a few names.
The doctor and social worker who worked with me when I first got to the hospital on November 19 both went on vacation the day before Thanksgiving. The doctor who harassed me and then authorized my being involuntarily medicated with needles at the charge nurse's request seems to be someone who works on the weekends and who substitutes for doctors who are on vacation.
Never, in the 22 years since I first started being admitted to psychiatric units, have I ever been medicated with shots. This was the first time that has ever happened to me.
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11/28/14
A Disgusting Abuse of Power
Things had been going all right until yesterday morning; not perfect, but all right. My social worker and doctor were supportive of my goal to be discharged to a more appropriate and safer place than a shelter when I leave the hospital. We had had discussions about that for a couple of days, after defining that goal.
I did not expect everything to fall apart in one day over the holiday. Dr. Matthew met with me for a few minutes in the television room at the end of the hallway. I had gone there because it's quiet, but also to be as far away as possible from a Mental Health Clinician named Natalia, who is someone who has harassed me since I got to this unit and about whom I have had to talk to whoever the charge nurse is several times during every shift that she works. She should not be working at this unit or in any caregiving situation that puts her in contact with vulnerable populations. She is a sadist and a manipulator who enjoys tormenting patients and then calling them crazy or implying that they are. Someone's oversight yesterday had gotten her assigned to me as my contact person.
When Dr. Matthew met with me, he was polite during the conversation. He asked me if I needed anything and told me to let him know if I did. When he left the room, he gave a big, fake cough, right outside the glass wall of the TV room.
The charge nurse, Theari, was with him. The doctor's coughing the way he did was a signal for me not to be taken seriously about my concerns when staff or patients bully me.
I angrily confronted him about his behavior, verbally. I also went to the dining room and let everyone know what he had done, and told all patients and staff who were in the milieu that "These people are a bunch of liars," which many of the people who work at that hospital are, to the detriment of the patients.
Natalia immediately went over to the doctor and the charge nurse to find out what had happened. Of course she did; seeing me upset is the best part of her working day and she wanted to find out if she'd be able to abuse me, which she did, repeatedly, throughout the morning, coughing at me from across the milieu.
Another situation that escalated because of Dr. Matthew's behavior was that a patient who follows people around and tries to go into their rooms was allowed to follow me by his contact person, Dave. When I asked Dave to stop the patient from following me, which is what I was told to do by other staff prior to Thanksgiving, Dave told me "He can go wherever he wants."
Not being able to have peace in the small TV room because of that patient and Dave, I went back to the milieu, where Natalia wouldn't stop coughing at me. Several times, I asked the charge nurse, Theari, to speak to Natalia. Theari refused; she yelled at me instead, saying "I'm not listening to this!"
Yesterday was the first time in my entire life that I was ever forced to take shots. I think that medication and the way it was administered was a violent and unnecessary overreaction to my throwing a cup of water at Natalia from across a table. I had literally just told Theari twice "Please speak to Natalia, because if you don't, I will." Theari had then screamed at me "You can't threaten her that way." I said "Talking to someone isn't threatening." I told Theari that I couldn't take Natalia's behavior anymore, and Theari still refused to talk to Natalia to stop the abuse of me. All of those conversations preceded my throwing the water at Natalia the next time that she coughed at me.
I was then forcibly removed from the milieu and brought to the quiet room. Without speaking to me first to ask what had happened, Theari said "I'm ordering medication," which Dr. Matthew then approved, even though I offered to take the nonnarcotic, antianxiety medication which was already prescribed for me to take as needed before I got to the hospital and which the regular doctor at that unit had continued to prescribe for me before she left. My offer was refused by Dr. Matthew as an acceptable response to his sickening and evil abuse of power toward me. He had set me up for the entire situation, and, I assume, for others like it, by coughing at me in the morning.
My goal is housing. I definitely don't need to be caught in the system of a mental hospital where staff deliberately trigger patients and then shoot them full of drugs.
The plan before Dr. Matthew's abuse of me and its consequent results was for me to be discharged to a respite bed or other transitional living situation that isn't as violent and difficult as a shelter. I hope that plan won't be disturbed by this incident.
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Copyright L. Kochman, December 3, 2014 @ 10:25 p.m.
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