The latest you had heard of me was probably 2007. So, technically, you do remember me looking better than I do now.
There has to be a way to turn my imperfections to my advantage. Maybe I can threaten people with them. "Beware, lest the neck/single tooth/whatever else it is get you." I don't know how I'd threaten people with my neck, though. I guess those birds with long necks do that. When they start honking and hissing, and then they curve their necks so that they're staring at you from the top of an S-curve and tottering from side to side, you know you have done something they don't like. That's too scary; I'm not doing that.
I also am not sure that trying to intimidate people with my teeth would work. If I were to protrude my lower lip so that my lower teeth were threateningly advanced, presumably it would then be difficult to talk. I don't tend to think of mumblers as being particularly threatening. I think that won't work.
Copyright L. Kochman, December 27, 2014 @ 6:47 a.m.
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