I kept a journal while I was at the Arbour hospital in Brookline.
Things in parentheses are usually things that I wrote today for clarification.
There are about 400 pages of medical records from the Arbour system. Many of them seem to be out of chronological order. This is a picture of them:
It will take a long time to go through them all and try to organize them so that I can write about them.
So far, I have been in three Arbour hospitals and have also done the women's partial hospitalization program. Every time, I have been harassed while also being told that I am paranoid and delusional.
_____________________
Notes from pre-admission:
October 1-October 2, 2014
What the Boston Emergency Services Team (BEST) clinician at the Solomon Carter Fuller building said to me when I asked him to help me get admitted to a hospital:
"If you're suicidal all the time, how do you know that you need to be in a hospital today?"
He was nasty and aggressive, with a smirk on his face. I walked out of the room and tried to get help from the peer specialist, who didn't want to talk to me any more when she saw that the clinician and I were having conflict. I decided that I would not try to get help from these people and I left, to walk to the Emergency Room at Boston Medical Center.
______________________
October 2, 2014
Arbour Brookline
Janitor with "Wet Paint" signs
The CEO of the hospital walked up to me in the hallway before I was brought to a unit. He said that he hoped that people would be "nice and kind" to me. We were a few feet from the janitor who was putting Wet Paint signs on the walls when he said that. (His "hope" didn't seem to be worth much; when I later tried to call his office to mention being harassed while a patient, his administrative assistant told me to contact the human rights office at the hospital. There was not one day that I spent at that hospital or any other hospital since the conglomerate began its torture of me that I have not been harassed).
Ace, Mental Health Worker, coughed at me as soon as I get to the unit. The EMT's hadn't even taken me off the stretcher yet; they had just wheeled me in and shut the door and he coughed at me.
He coughed at me all afternoon, in front of nurses, the doctor, and as soon as their backs were turned. I insisted that he not be allowed to treat me that way. He was moved off the unit. The next shift, another male staffperson began to harass me with coughing. I told the nurse for that shift to make it stop. She asked if I wanted to be transferred to the all-female unit. Although I had mentioned it to her when the shift began, by the time she asked if I wanted to move, I said it didn't matter, that an MHW named Taulant had mentioned it in the morning when I was admitted. When Taulant had suggested it, I had said that probably I should because of what had happened at other places, including harassment by male patients and even being stalked around the unit. (The truth is that it shouldn't matter; women should not have to flee places where there are men who are bullying them. The bullying should not happen and should be addressed promptly and truthfully if it does happen.)
I have been in hospitals since I was 17. Only since the conglomerate began have I been sexually harassed in hospitals, has my gender been an issue in any psychiatric facility, with no control being placed on the harassing behavior.
This is how the charge nurse for the second shift described the situation:
(I never said anything to that charge nurse about my concerns about video cameras. I also never responded to denial about being harassed by talking about cameras. What I had said to the doctor who spoke to me when I was admitted was that voyeurism is an epidemic problem, and I suggested that he have the hospital swept for hidden cameras in private places such as bedrooms, bathrooms and showers. I described that type of illegal videotaping as sexual assault, which it is.
There are hundreds of pages of records. Many of the pages seem to be out of chronological order. This is a picture of something someone wrote about me during another encounter with the Arbour system, earlier this year):
______________________
October 3, 2014
(The conglomerate) calls making Plan B available to child molesters protecting a woman's right to control her body, but I am not able to take a shower, change or use a toilet without being videotaped
EVEN THOUGH IT IS ILLEGAL TO VIDEOTAPE PEOPLE THAT WAY AND I NEVER STOP SCREAMING THAT I WANT IT TO STOP!
For how many months has the Chinatown YMCA had HIDDEN AND ILLEGAL VIDEO CAMERAS IN THE FEMALE LOCKER ROOM, VIDEOTAPING ALL WOMEN, TEENAGERS AND CHILDREN CHANGING, TAKING SHOWERS AND USING THE TOILETS!?
______________________
October 3, 2014
Dr. Gajaraj (medical director for the Arbour in Brookline, also works at the all-female unit at that hospital. I met with him the day after I was admitted.)
I walked out (of the meeting with him). He wouldn't stop talking about medication. He seemed to have a problem with it when I said that I wanted another therapist (for when I left the hospital) to deal with specific issues. (I had said that I wanted a therapist who specializes in sexual trauma.)
______________________
October 3, 2014
One of the human rights officers visited me at the all-female unit. When I told her that I had been harassed at both units so far, she said "People can't help coughing." I told her "I can't take being lied to any more; get out of my room."
Lunch:
Ace was at the doorway of the cafeteria. He coughed at me, then asked a female staffperson from my unit "How was your commute?"
When I got upstairs after lunch, I called the CEO's office again and told the administrative assistant, "Tell him that there's nothing he can do to stop me from writing about being sexually harassed here, when I leave." She asked me which unit I was on. I told her 'The all-female unit." She put me on hold. After waiting for a while, I hung up. I thought she was probably just going to call the unit and tell them to subdue me. I called the hospital operator, told her to take the message and to make sure that the CEO got it.
Firetruck #5 went past in the street below
After a group, a staffperson went into the next room and gave a big, fake sneeze
Afternoon community meeting: facilitator of the meeting rubbed her nose every time that she looked at me
Horrible TV ads
I took a shower. Several minutes after I left the shower room, there was a man (older, white hair) vacuuming in the hallway. The noise continued for a long time. It turned out that he was washing the carpet in the hallway. I left my room because I wanted to put my clothes in the drier (I went to the hospital with only the clothes that I was wearing and had to wash them every day.) A staffperson told me that I should wait until the carpet washing was done. It was almost 8:00 p.m. She said that she would put my clothes in the drier for me. I said I'd rather do it myself.
I asked the carpet-cleaner's name. He said "Bill." I said "So I can publish your name when I write about this." He said "OK." I said "I hope you can think of something to do every time I shower." (He didn't.)
Charge nurse said she wanted to talk to me. She took me into the nurses' station and badgered me about medication. I told her the conversation was over and walked out.
This is how the charge nurse for that shift described that conversation in the note she made in my chart:
A news show:
-A story about "wings with chili powder"
-Student with a large poster that has a peace sign, a rainbow, and the word "Imagine." The conglomerate will never run out of naïve people to support its stupid ideas.
Dominos ad: "The last thing you want to do is run out of boxes."
THERE ARE NO CONTROLS ON THE CONGLOMERATE'S SEXUAL BEHAVIOR AND A DEATH GRIP ON MINE!
YOU CAN'T VIDEOTAPE PEOPLE IN BATHROOMS!
______________________
October 4, 2014
(Notes about the 1st and 2nd nights at the Arbour)
1st night:
2 a.m. coughing outside the door (of my room). Then (coughing) in the hallway. Continued until I told the overnight charge nurse. 4 hours of sleep
2nd night:
Between 12 & 12:30 a.m.
Woman at the foot of my bed shining flashlight directly in my face. I said "Right in my face? Really?" She giggled and said "Sorry."
Next it was another staffperson walking up between the beds toward me with a flashlight. I talked to the nurse--denial, until she agreed to tell the person to be more respectful. It was fine for a few hours, then person doing the checks kept sniffing loudly while leaving the room.
(All psychiatric units always have a staffperson doing what are called "checks" on the patients. When a patient first gets to a unit, depending on how he or she is presented at admission, there are usually 15 minute checks on that person until the patient's safety to self and others on the unit is established. The checks at that Arbour were the most invasive checks I have ever experienced anywhere, even without the addition of coughing, sneezing and other gestures in the middle of the night or at 3 or 4 or 5 in the morning.)
_____________________
Notes from pre-admission:
October 1-October 2, 2014
What the Boston Emergency Services Team (BEST) clinician at the Solomon Carter Fuller building said to me when I asked him to help me get admitted to a hospital:
"If you're suicidal all the time, how do you know that you need to be in a hospital today?"
He was nasty and aggressive, with a smirk on his face. I walked out of the room and tried to get help from the peer specialist, who didn't want to talk to me any more when she saw that the clinician and I were having conflict. I decided that I would not try to get help from these people and I left, to walk to the Emergency Room at Boston Medical Center.
______________________
October 2, 2014
Arbour Brookline
Janitor with "Wet Paint" signs
The CEO of the hospital walked up to me in the hallway before I was brought to a unit. He said that he hoped that people would be "nice and kind" to me. We were a few feet from the janitor who was putting Wet Paint signs on the walls when he said that. (His "hope" didn't seem to be worth much; when I later tried to call his office to mention being harassed while a patient, his administrative assistant told me to contact the human rights office at the hospital. There was not one day that I spent at that hospital or any other hospital since the conglomerate began its torture of me that I have not been harassed).
Ace, Mental Health Worker, coughed at me as soon as I get to the unit. The EMT's hadn't even taken me off the stretcher yet; they had just wheeled me in and shut the door and he coughed at me.
He coughed at me all afternoon, in front of nurses, the doctor, and as soon as their backs were turned. I insisted that he not be allowed to treat me that way. He was moved off the unit. The next shift, another male staffperson began to harass me with coughing. I told the nurse for that shift to make it stop. She asked if I wanted to be transferred to the all-female unit. Although I had mentioned it to her when the shift began, by the time she asked if I wanted to move, I said it didn't matter, that an MHW named Taulant had mentioned it in the morning when I was admitted. When Taulant had suggested it, I had said that probably I should because of what had happened at other places, including harassment by male patients and even being stalked around the unit. (The truth is that it shouldn't matter; women should not have to flee places where there are men who are bullying them. The bullying should not happen and should be addressed promptly and truthfully if it does happen.)
I have been in hospitals since I was 17. Only since the conglomerate began have I been sexually harassed in hospitals, has my gender been an issue in any psychiatric facility, with no control being placed on the harassing behavior.
This is how the charge nurse for the second shift described the situation:
(I never said anything to that charge nurse about my concerns about video cameras. I also never responded to denial about being harassed by talking about cameras. What I had said to the doctor who spoke to me when I was admitted was that voyeurism is an epidemic problem, and I suggested that he have the hospital swept for hidden cameras in private places such as bedrooms, bathrooms and showers. I described that type of illegal videotaping as sexual assault, which it is.
There are hundreds of pages of records. Many of the pages seem to be out of chronological order. This is a picture of something someone wrote about me during another encounter with the Arbour system, earlier this year):
______________________
October 3, 2014
(The conglomerate) calls making Plan B available to child molesters protecting a woman's right to control her body, but I am not able to take a shower, change or use a toilet without being videotaped
EVEN THOUGH IT IS ILLEGAL TO VIDEOTAPE PEOPLE THAT WAY AND I NEVER STOP SCREAMING THAT I WANT IT TO STOP!
For how many months has the Chinatown YMCA had HIDDEN AND ILLEGAL VIDEO CAMERAS IN THE FEMALE LOCKER ROOM, VIDEOTAPING ALL WOMEN, TEENAGERS AND CHILDREN CHANGING, TAKING SHOWERS AND USING THE TOILETS!?
______________________
October 3, 2014
Dr. Gajaraj (medical director for the Arbour in Brookline, also works at the all-female unit at that hospital. I met with him the day after I was admitted.)
I walked out (of the meeting with him). He wouldn't stop talking about medication. He seemed to have a problem with it when I said that I wanted another therapist (for when I left the hospital) to deal with specific issues. (I had said that I wanted a therapist who specializes in sexual trauma.)
______________________
October 3, 2014
One of the human rights officers visited me at the all-female unit. When I told her that I had been harassed at both units so far, she said "People can't help coughing." I told her "I can't take being lied to any more; get out of my room."
Lunch:
Ace was at the doorway of the cafeteria. He coughed at me, then asked a female staffperson from my unit "How was your commute?"
When I got upstairs after lunch, I called the CEO's office again and told the administrative assistant, "Tell him that there's nothing he can do to stop me from writing about being sexually harassed here, when I leave." She asked me which unit I was on. I told her 'The all-female unit." She put me on hold. After waiting for a while, I hung up. I thought she was probably just going to call the unit and tell them to subdue me. I called the hospital operator, told her to take the message and to make sure that the CEO got it.
Firetruck #5 went past in the street below
After a group, a staffperson went into the next room and gave a big, fake sneeze
Afternoon community meeting: facilitator of the meeting rubbed her nose every time that she looked at me
Horrible TV ads
I took a shower. Several minutes after I left the shower room, there was a man (older, white hair) vacuuming in the hallway. The noise continued for a long time. It turned out that he was washing the carpet in the hallway. I left my room because I wanted to put my clothes in the drier (I went to the hospital with only the clothes that I was wearing and had to wash them every day.) A staffperson told me that I should wait until the carpet washing was done. It was almost 8:00 p.m. She said that she would put my clothes in the drier for me. I said I'd rather do it myself.
I asked the carpet-cleaner's name. He said "Bill." I said "So I can publish your name when I write about this." He said "OK." I said "I hope you can think of something to do every time I shower." (He didn't.)
Charge nurse said she wanted to talk to me. She took me into the nurses' station and badgered me about medication. I told her the conversation was over and walked out.
This is how the charge nurse for that shift described that conversation in the note she made in my chart:
A news show:
-A story about "wings with chili powder"
-Student with a large poster that has a peace sign, a rainbow, and the word "Imagine." The conglomerate will never run out of naïve people to support its stupid ideas.
Dominos ad: "The last thing you want to do is run out of boxes."
THERE ARE NO CONTROLS ON THE CONGLOMERATE'S SEXUAL BEHAVIOR AND A DEATH GRIP ON MINE!
YOU CAN'T VIDEOTAPE PEOPLE IN BATHROOMS!
______________________
October 4, 2014
(Notes about the 1st and 2nd nights at the Arbour)
1st night:
2 a.m. coughing outside the door (of my room). Then (coughing) in the hallway. Continued until I told the overnight charge nurse. 4 hours of sleep
2nd night:
Between 12 & 12:30 a.m.
Woman at the foot of my bed shining flashlight directly in my face. I said "Right in my face? Really?" She giggled and said "Sorry."
Next it was another staffperson walking up between the beds toward me with a flashlight. I talked to the nurse--denial, until she agreed to tell the person to be more respectful. It was fine for a few hours, then person doing the checks kept sniffing loudly while leaving the room.
(All psychiatric units always have a staffperson doing what are called "checks" on the patients. When a patient first gets to a unit, depending on how he or she is presented at admission, there are usually 15 minute checks on that person until the patient's safety to self and others on the unit is established. The checks at that Arbour were the most invasive checks I have ever experienced anywhere, even without the addition of coughing, sneezing and other gestures in the middle of the night or at 3 or 4 or 5 in the morning.)
Copyright, with noted exceptions, L. Kochman, December 7, 2014 @ 7:29 p.m.
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